So this is really for Hayley. I wanted to tell you but you're at a T bones game. lol. I know you'll see this, and no one else will, really. Except maybe Andy LOL anyway. So I talked to Chris tonight. We talked and we basically just argued. and it made me cry. so it didn't really resolve anything. All that came from it was I found out why he was mad at me and wasn't talking to me. we were talking the other night and I told him to not worry about takin me to worlds of fun (because I've been wanting to go for a long time) and that I would just go with a friend. And he goes "well fine then I'm going to silver dollar city then with one of my friends." (he was joking, not really that childish) and I asked when and he said "You know, I could call up any of my friends at any time and ask if they wanted to go to silver dollar city with me and they would." And that's the big thing that I misinterpreted. In retrospect, I feel really stupid, because duh. he was just answering my question: "when?" BUT I didn't take it that way. Chris has asked me to go to the lake with him and camping, and I can never go because he asks me a few days before hand and it's too short of notice. I can't do that because you know, I have a child. I have to plan ahead. So when he said that, I thought he was saying "well my friends can do things spontaneously unlike you because you have a kid." so obviously that really hurt my feelings and pissed me off because I thought he was saying Hayden was a burden on our relationship. I said some sarcastic remark like "Well I'm sorry that I have a child and I can't do things with you on such short notice. I must be such an inconvenience." And that really made him mad. Because I was basically saying he was an asshole and thought of Hayden as a burden and that's everything he's striving not to be. Because he's really understanding and even likes the fact that I have Hayden, so me saying that I think he thinks Hayden is 'in the way' really hurt his feelings. That I would think that.That's when he went off about how he wasn't going to argue about it because I was twisting his words and that he would just talk to me tomorrow and hung up. Now after our conversation I know he didn't want to talk to me about it because he doesn't handle confrontation very well. He's a really easy going person and it takes a lot to get him mad, but when he's mad he's really mad, and just yells. So he tries to avoid it altogether. So that led to him not talking to me for 2 days. SO. I think he thinks we resolved our little argument on the phone, but to me, we didn't. Because now I'm thinking "well is he going to resolve every argument this way?" Because I can't handle him not talking to me for days and having no idea why. I was just sitting here, really upset.. and I had no idea why he was mad at me and why he wasn't talking to me. I left him a voicemail last night telling him I was really upset and needed to talk to him and it reeeally hurts my feelings that he didn't call me back. Like, I know he was pissed off at what I said, but he should still consider how I might be feeling. so then I was crying and really upset with all these feelings so I decided to get out a notebook and write down everything I wanted to say to him. but then I sent him a text message that said "I don't think our conversation earlier resolved anything and I really can't talk to you right now (because i would just start crying and i would be incoherent) so I wrote you a message on facebook, as lame as that is. So read it sometime please" and I wrote him this really long message on facebook getting out all my feelings about it all and I feel a lot better now. I know he hasn't read it yet because he's out fishing again. but still i think everything is fine now. It's almost over. lol. | 
